Harry was right

by Teresa Finney

When you have lived in New York for just three weeks, go to the dive bar on the corner of 8th Ave and 14th St. These things will happen:

-You will meet a lady claiming to be a hairdresser and a psychic. She will tell you that you are ballsy for coming into that dive bar (“This is the kinda place for men only!”) She will ask if you miss your mom.

-You will see him standing at the other end of the bar. Notice his height. He’s tall. His dark hair makes his complexion almost shine. Notice the way he comes across as confident.

-Decide you want to know him.

-His loud, obnoxious friend will walk over to you first. He asks what you do and will call you the “Carrie Bradshaw of this bar” after he finds out. You will not hold it against him.

-Tall Guy joins the conversation, then spills his beer on your jeans. He promises to buy you a new pair.

-You will not see him again for seven months.

In the span of one year, you will become very good friends who do the following things:

-Hang out basically every weekend.

-Drink enough alcohol together to float a cruise ship.

-Discover a favorite dive bar in Times Square. Joke that it is now your Cheers and laugh even harder when it really does become the place everyone knows your name.

-Flirt, cautiously.

-Have a three-hour conversation about your lives at Washington Square Park after midnight in 23 degree weather. Make the obvious comparison to your life and a Nora Ephron film.

-At the beginning of the summer, drive to Long Island together, then the Hamptons, and then finally, Montauk. Eat lobster rolls on a dock while watching people climb a rock jetty.

-Find it charming and hilarious that he becomes Facebook friends with your Mom.

-Find it charming and endearing that he makes plans to go to California with you to meet “the family.”

-Against your better judgment, find yourself falling in love.

-Love him so much you will wonder what it was you felt for all the ones before him.

-Move into a new apartment at the end of the year. Invite him over.

-Eat bacon mac and cheese on your couch while debating gun control.

-Drink too much vodka and console him as he cries while telling you about his father.

-As if it is 1997, turn on the Christmas episode of The X Files, hold hands and share a blanket like teenagers.

-Two weeks after the New Year, he tells you he loves you. You say it too even though you know he only means it platonically, and you, you do not.

-Fall asleep in your bedroom together. Kiss for the first time. Run your hands through his thick black hair as he kisses your inner thigh, then kisses lower and lower.

-Make note that he is tender with you.

-When it’s all over, hear him say “We can be adults about this, right?” and “We wouldn’t work together.” Imagine he is speaking a foreign language, one that only makes sense to him.

-In the morning as he leaves, embrace each other a little longer than usual.

-Play it off so cool.

-Until he closes the door.

-Freak out after not hearing from him for three days.

-Full-on mental break down.

-Analyze everything he said and did and didn’t say and didn’t do a million times.

-Give yourself a headache.

-Annoy your friends with constant text messages that say things like “Have I not heard from him because he thought my ass was big?”

-Love your friends when they reply “No, and yes, your ass is big but duh, he loved it.”


-Cry some more.

-Cry again.

-Shield your eyes with your bangs as you cry on the subway to and from work.


-Cry so hard.

Once you can see straight, please do these things:

-First, give yourself freedom from looking high and low for his ghost.

-Despite your memories, he isn’t actually sitting on your couch drinking rum and laughing at you for knowing most of the lines in the Cheers pilot. You can spend time in your apartment without seeing him in every corner.

-Get out of bed everyday.


-Drink so much coffee.


-Call your Mom.


-Go to work.


-Take long walks after the sun has set.

-Know that you can’t fix it.

-Be okay with not knowing if things are okay.

-Miss your friend.